Back To Work I Go!

I know I haven't posted in over a week.... this has been a tough week and a half, I had to go back to work!!!!  It was so hard to leave my baby, he was with his daddy (my husband requested a cool nickname for this blog, and he came up with Alan, as in the hangover, if you knew him it would be really funny) but it was still hard to do.  The build up of going back to work made it hard to stay on track with diet and exercise, but I have been trying really hard even when dessert sounds way better than working out.  *Alan :)  has been so super supportive and really trying to motivate me, even when I am not very pleasant and all I do is b*tch and complain the whole time I am working out.

I had these nightmares about going back to work, it was hard to leave the baby, but I am a nurse and I have been off work for 3 months so I was petrified about making a mistake, or forgetting how to do my job.  I know this is cliche but it was like riding a bike, I just jumped right in and felt comfortable.  Until yesterday I was seriously wondering why I chose a career in nursing, and now I know, because I am great at it!  Getting through yesterday was another step in the right direction, and it has helped me to feel a little better.  It is really hard to diet and exercise and be positive when you feel sad and scared.

Until next time, here's to weight loss and being positive.

Weight:
180 lbs

New Found Determination

I love my husband, I really do with all my heart but, I strongly dislike his metabolism!  He started dieting and exercising the same time I did and has lost 8 pounds!  I have, as of today, gained 1 pound.

I have been eating 1340 calories a day and walking on the treadmill.  The only thing he has been doing differently is using the bowflex for weight training.  So tonight I bowflexed.... and let me tell you my arms were on fire.  I used muscles I haven't used in awhile.  I feel good about this new addition to my routine, and I am hoping it gives me that last little push towards weight loss.

I am now even more determined to lose these 30 pounds.  My husband beats me at everything, to the point were I refuse to play board games with him (I know I am a sore loser, and I am not teaching this trait to my children, but I hate to lose).  So this just gives my more drive to beat him at something, for once!  It sounds petty but if it keeps me motivated I am all about it.

Now that I have exercised and blogged I must go be mom and read a bedtime story to my little ones.  Trying to find balance is hard but that is a whole other blog post....

Today's weight:
181 pounds :(

Here goes nothing....

200 days and 30 pounds.... that is my goal. Why 200 days you ask? That is the countdown to my baby brother's wedding.

Six weeks ago I gave birth to my second child, a beautiful baby boy whom I love to pieces but I don't not appreciate what he did to my body. I have had self esteem and body image issues for as long as I can remember, and after I had my daughter they got worse and worse. I even went through a little depression, don't worry I pulled my self out and got motivated. It took me 4 years but I lost the 60 pounds I gained with my daughter plus 20 and was finally at my goal weight. Next thing you know I am pregnant with my little man.... only able to enjoy my weight loss for a few months.

For pregnancy number two I tried so hard to eat healthy and stay on track to not gain 60 pounds. I was determined to be healthy, then the milkshake and pie monster struck...I mean it was for the baby, he wanted a milkshake every night. How could I deny my child? I was able to stick to my goal of not gaining 60 pounds, I gained 55 instead. So here I am now 6 weeks out and feeling worse about my body than ever. I have had very frequent "I am so fat" episodes, and I am at a point where I no longer want to beat myself up, I want to lift myself up and do something about it.

The Plan:

I am going to count my calories with the help of a handy cell phone app (gotta love modern technology), and try to exercise at least 3 times per week. Right now I am just doing light cardio, like walking on the treadmill and the stationary bike to start and hope to increase as time goes on. I am not an exercise person, it does not bring me joy, but what does bring me joy is fitting into my very expensive jeans that I bought prior to getting pregnant (I know I should be saying the health benefits, blah blah, I want to look good, it's the truth).

I am going to blog as much as I can to help keep myself accountable, I am even going to post my weight each time. This is real and I want to be honest and truthful so her it is...

Starting weight:

180.6 lbs